Most people... ok, 9 out of every 10 people (literally) that we know have asked us about having twins and how they were "made".
Side note: Please don't EVER (like, ever ever, like, as you wouldn't touch a black man's radio...) ask a M.o.M if her babies are "natural". They are made from organic matter, they breathe air, and they are definitely not robots. Of course they are natural! Idiot. Ok, yes, that's some sarcasm you are sensing; I know what these people are implying. I just think it is an incredibly rude, ignorant, and insensitive question to ask someone in the grocery store or at Walmart. Unless you are my mother or my BFF [who happens to be The Hubster], then you don't need to know. And if you are my mother or my BFF, then you already do know. But, because inquiring minds want to know, here is today's blog post:
I never realized how common "infertility" is. I put it in quotations because it's all really just a relative term. When The Hubster and I decided that we would like to start a family, we were told by quite a few doctors that the chances of us conceiving naturally were a crap shoot. A billion to one. It just wudn't gunna happen. We were told our only ONLY way of ever conceiving a child would be an expensive series of procedures known commonly as In Vitro Fertilization. We looked into it and yes, it was very expensive. We contacted our (military) health insurance provider only to be given a total run around and told that we would have to be put on a 3-year waiting list and even then we'd still have to come out of pocket for some of the procedures and medications.
It was all very heartbreaking and depressing.
We didn't know anyone who had done these treatments before, so we felt very much alone in our journey. We had watched friends and knew people that (despite our personal beliefs) had had abortions and given their unplanned children away to adoptive parents. I think that was the hardest for us. We tried so hard to conceive-- basal temperature charting, ovulation charting, you name it...-- and to see our friends (in a manner of speaking) getting rid of their unwanted blessings just crushed us. We even spoke with a friend of ours who found herself unmarried, without a home, and pregnant, and offered to adopt her child. She flatly refused our offer and aborted her child 4 days later. I honestly cannot convey in words how much this hurt me.
At any rate, when we learned of the cost (financially and timewise) of these IVF treatments (and how most couples are not successful on their first try), we were disappointed. Because the military moves us around so frequently, we weren't even sure we would still be at the same base in 3 years, thereby negating the 3-year wait that our insurance required. We felt we had no other option than to either pay out of pocket (which, really, wasn't an option) or... to pray. (Side note: Its funny how, so often, we forget that prayer should be our first option instead of our last resort.)
Anyway, we prayed. We prayed that God would bless us with a child that we would love and raise up to worship Him as He intended. We prayed for guidance, wisdom, and strength. At least, I know I did. I was an emotional wreck. My whole life, I never wanted a baby. But when I married The Hubster, all that changed. Suddenly, all I could think of was snuggling a tiny, precious infant. Of that infant, when he/she became a toddler waving at the door greeting The Hubster after a long day of work. Of making Rice Krispy treats like the commercials on television, of toting him/her to swim practice, football practice, ballet class, and summer camp. Fixing my baby girl's hair on the evening of her prom. Kissing my sweet son as he graduates from high school. Driving back to Auburn after so many years and helping my child unpack his college dorm room. Standing on the steps of the church while my precious baby drives away with his/her beloved to begin a life of their own...
I told you, I'm emotional.
Anyway. When people say that prayer works, they are not lying. My husband and I prayed and prayed and prayed as hard and as much and as diligently as anyone could ever possibly pray. In April 2009, we learned not only were we pregnant, but we would be expecting twins! (The old addage of "Be careful what youwish pray for..." definitely applies!) And in October of last year, we found we would welcome another precious blessing this July. And I can assure you, these children are natural (whatever that means).
(Another side note: I'd like to find those doctors that said we would never have children and slap them with a child support lawsuit and hold them responsible for 3 college tuitions!)
So, I suppose the moral of my story is that I just want you to know that those of you that do struggle with "infertility" to please do not ever give up hope. And to those of you that have been blessed to get pregnant "naturally" on your first, second, third and subsquent tries: Please consider yourself lucky. I know I definitely do.
Side note: Please don't EVER (like, ever ever, like, as you wouldn't touch a black man's radio...) ask a M.o.M if her babies are "natural". They are made from organic matter, they breathe air, and they are definitely not robots. Of course they are natural! Idiot. Ok, yes, that's some sarcasm you are sensing; I know what these people are implying. I just think it is an incredibly rude, ignorant, and insensitive question to ask someone in the grocery store or at Walmart. Unless you are my mother or my BFF [who happens to be The Hubster], then you don't need to know. And if you are my mother or my BFF, then you already do know. But, because inquiring minds want to know, here is today's blog post:
I never realized how common "infertility" is. I put it in quotations because it's all really just a relative term. When The Hubster and I decided that we would like to start a family, we were told by quite a few doctors that the chances of us conceiving naturally were a crap shoot. A billion to one. It just wudn't gunna happen. We were told our only ONLY way of ever conceiving a child would be an expensive series of procedures known commonly as In Vitro Fertilization. We looked into it and yes, it was very expensive. We contacted our (military) health insurance provider only to be given a total run around and told that we would have to be put on a 3-year waiting list and even then we'd still have to come out of pocket for some of the procedures and medications.
It was all very heartbreaking and depressing.
We didn't know anyone who had done these treatments before, so we felt very much alone in our journey. We had watched friends and knew people that (despite our personal beliefs) had had abortions and given their unplanned children away to adoptive parents. I think that was the hardest for us. We tried so hard to conceive-- basal temperature charting, ovulation charting, you name it...-- and to see our friends (in a manner of speaking) getting rid of their unwanted blessings just crushed us. We even spoke with a friend of ours who found herself unmarried, without a home, and pregnant, and offered to adopt her child. She flatly refused our offer and aborted her child 4 days later. I honestly cannot convey in words how much this hurt me.
At any rate, when we learned of the cost (financially and timewise) of these IVF treatments (and how most couples are not successful on their first try), we were disappointed. Because the military moves us around so frequently, we weren't even sure we would still be at the same base in 3 years, thereby negating the 3-year wait that our insurance required. We felt we had no other option than to either pay out of pocket (which, really, wasn't an option) or... to pray. (Side note: Its funny how, so often, we forget that prayer should be our first option instead of our last resort.)
Anyway, we prayed. We prayed that God would bless us with a child that we would love and raise up to worship Him as He intended. We prayed for guidance, wisdom, and strength. At least, I know I did. I was an emotional wreck. My whole life, I never wanted a baby. But when I married The Hubster, all that changed. Suddenly, all I could think of was snuggling a tiny, precious infant. Of that infant, when he/she became a toddler waving at the door greeting The Hubster after a long day of work. Of making Rice Krispy treats like the commercials on television, of toting him/her to swim practice, football practice, ballet class, and summer camp. Fixing my baby girl's hair on the evening of her prom. Kissing my sweet son as he graduates from high school. Driving back to Auburn after so many years and helping my child unpack his college dorm room. Standing on the steps of the church while my precious baby drives away with his/her beloved to begin a life of their own...
I told you, I'm emotional.
Anyway. When people say that prayer works, they are not lying. My husband and I prayed and prayed and prayed as hard and as much and as diligently as anyone could ever possibly pray. In April 2009, we learned not only were we pregnant, but we would be expecting twins! (The old addage of "Be careful what you
(Another side note: I'd like to find those doctors that said we would never have children and slap them with a child support lawsuit and hold them responsible for 3 college tuitions!)
So, I suppose the moral of my story is that I just want you to know that those of you that do struggle with "infertility" to please do not ever give up hope. And to those of you that have been blessed to get pregnant "naturally" on your first, second, third and subsquent tries: Please consider yourself lucky. I know I definitely do.
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ReplyDeleteYou had me at the point of tears with this post Mrs. Holloway...I had no idea you guys went through all of this. Im happy God has blessed you both with a beautiful Ohana. Keep the post coming! =)
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